quiz: What kind of mummy are you?
These days you can’t just be a ‘mummy’, you have to have some ridiculous rhyming prefix attached. So what sort of mummy are you:
A yummy mummy, a funny mummy, a regular mummy or a drunk mummy?
Take the quiz and find out…
a) Iron your hair, within an inch of its life, every 6 hours.
b) Blog about how you would iron your hair but you don’t want to disturb the nappy cream, spaghetti sauce and Lego heads you store in there.
c) Put your hair in a ponytail every day (after sprinkling baby powder on the roots to make it look less greasy).
d) Suck on your hair because sometimes it is still wet from falling asleep in last night’s martini.
a) Have a Brazilian.
b) Say things like ‘I’ll only have a Brazilian if he gives me a back rub first’.
c) Have whatever occurs between you and a razor in the shower before someone walks in and shouts ‘boobies!’.
d) Do not know what is in your pants.
a) Get to an abstepzumbaspin bootcombat class at least 3 times a week.
b) Say ‘abstepzumbaspin bootcombat class’ a lot. Because it’s hilarious.
c) Walk with the pram to the shops, feel good about it, then buy 3 packets of choc chip cookies and eat them on the way home.
d) Work up a sweat juicing limes for the Moscow Mules.
You start the day with:
a) A thermolicious smoothie or, on the weekend, an egg white omelette and coconut water.
b) A Facebook post about the uber explosive nappy you just changed and how it managed to end up in your teeth.
c) Leftover rice cereal, cold toast, cold coffee, and a whinge about last nights waking’s to whoever will listen. d) A beer.
You wish your husband:
a) Would never go changing! He is supportive and funny and smart and your sex life is absolutely unbelievable (isn’t it?).
b) Was Daddy Pig.
c) Would look up from his iPad when you explain how difficult it is to get dried apple custard vomit off the highchair tray.
d) Would come home (and with a nice bottle of red).
On the weekends you like to:
a) Go to a Pink concert with ‘the girls’.
b) Read Mamamia and think ‘I write funnier shit than that.’
c) Wonder what day it is and why you seem to have an extra person to look after.
d) Hit a small bar with other mummies and laugh about how much everyone drank that week.
You are a yummy mummy! You are toned and tanned and full of energy. The three of you (you and your eyebrows) look amazing! It is hard work maintaining ‘you’ though so watch out for that looming mental breakdown.
You are a funny mummy! You are clever and witty and enjoy the humour that’s hidden in every crappy moment. Just remember you can make people giggle and still brush your hair and get out of your trackies.
You are a regular mummy! You are completely awesome just getting through life, rockin’ it your own style. Although tempting, you should avoid hanging out exclusively with other regular mummies - you will eventually get bored out of your baby brain.
You are a drunk mummy! You are fun, carefree and people love it when you sit at their table (and occasionally dance on it). Just remember to check yourself - just because you drive a lovely big SUV doesn’t mean you are not a raging dysfunctional alco!
*Not scientifically accurate.